Today, my cat turns two. Last night we attempted to celebrate his birthday before leaving for the weekend, and I realized why cats typically don’t celebrate birthdays.
With the pandemic leaving me unemployed and starving for entertainment, I decided about a month ago that I would throw my cat, Winston, a birthday party this year. Last year, I made him a paper party hat and took pictures of him for his Instagram account (yes, he has an Instagram account - follow him @winniethekitty14). I also bought him a new collar, but that was pretty much it.
Due to the current state of the world, lately I have been desperate for a reason to celebrate any day. I began stockpiling gifts a few weeks ago with the plan of throwing a small party for him. Needless to say, my excitement built over time, and I decided I would write about it for my blog about two weeks ago.
I was very hopeful.
When I bring him home on weekends and breaks, it feels like I am merely visiting, and my kid is destroying my parents’ house much to my embarrassment. My mom has a choice nickname for him that he certainly deserves sometimes, especially when he explores forbidden places like behind the entertainment center, the mantle above the fireplace, the fireplace itself, or the basement. He also has a habit of beating up the other cats (who are both 11 years old now), as well as my sister’s chinchilla and our 100-pound black lab.
He can be delightful and adorable, but he can also be a bully and a pain in the butt. Some of my friends call him “quirky,” which I like. He’s certainly quirky. Winston loves it when the printer turns on, splashes in his water bowl, is not afraid of hair dryers, and plays fetch with balled up sticky notes. He has a routine of waking me up in the morning to open the blinds for him (he has bug friends to say hello to outside), and we usually play an intense game of hide-and-seek to start the day.
In a few words, I would say Winston is quirky, adventurous, and bold - he is very bold. Above all else, though, he is spoiled; even my dad (who is not a cat person) built him a ledge to look out his favorite window, covered in carpet so he can use it as a scratch pad.
He is also officially “terrible two” as of today.
It feels like he has been terrible two for two years. My roommates at school could testify to that point, as well as my parents and my sisters. Nonetheless, we continue to spoil him and shower him with love. That’s why he had a birthday party.
Furthermore, it is why I was more excited about his 2nd birthday than my own 21st birthday (which turned out to be surprisingly awesome). Being a cat, maybe it was because he sensed my excitement that he decided to play hard-to-get and not show any excitement when the time for celebration finally came. Cats are like that.
You might be wondering: how does one celebrate a cat’s birthday?
The first step was to purchase plenty of gifts. Over the course of a month, I collected quite a few. He received: two small sheets of bubble wrap, two catnip mice, three plastic-wrapped catnip toys to chew on, dental treats, two new bowtie collars, and a plastic dinosaur. I had to hide them in my room, and he almost sniffed them out thanks to all of the catnip.
The second step was to figure out how to celebrate around our weekend plans. We settled on a birthday party the night before his birthday because, frankly, he doesn’t actually know the difference. He doesn’t even understand the concept of birthdays.
The final step was sorting out the cake substitute. I am not one for baking, so a cake edible to cats was not going to happen. I decided to treat him to wet food, which he typically doesn’t get, and he seemed quite pleased with it.
To spice things up, my youngest sister, Hailey, held a photoshoot with him, using her new camera. She disappeared with him for a few hours and returned with the photos I used in this post. We also took him outside for a few minutes on a leash, but it was hot and he was distracted, so it lasted all of five minutes.
I wrapped his gifts in plastic bags because he loves plastic bags, and I cracked open a can of cat food to start the celebration. He yelled at me for a few minutes, then scarfed down half of the food - so either he kindly left some for the other cats, or (more realistically) he got distracted. It was off to a decent start for a cat party.
Present time was more difficult.
It turns out, cat parties are not so popular because it is impossible to keep their attention. People are their servants, so unless they plan the party, it simply isn’t happening. I am a cat person, but I will admit that celebrating birthdays is definitely one of the few situations where dogs are better.
I placed them in the middle of the floor, hoping that because he likes to play with plastic bags that he would attack them - he did not. I opened each gift for him, and for a moment he enjoyed his pile of presents. For a moment. Then I put a treat in front of him, and because he is picky, he left to hide behind the couch.
Within seconds, Knuckles moved in on his new toys and snacks. I think she enjoyed feeling celebrated more than he did, and I decided it was better to just take what I could get. I’m glad she liked it. It was during this time that Kapukie ate Winston’s birthday dinner.
Moral of the story, cat birthday parties sound better in theory, but actually throwing them is not exactly worth it.
Next year, I think I will stick to a simple gift for him and a cupcake for myself. Maybe I’ll get Knuckles something too, since she enjoyed the party more than anyone else.
So, if you’re considering throwing your own cat a birthday party, I would highly suggest you save your high hopes and energy for another day.
I’d rate our cat party 2 out of 5 stars, only because he enjoyed it for a moment, and Knuckles really enjoyed the attention at the end. Definitely use it as an excuse to eat cake, but don’t let yourself get too excited.
Happy birthday, Winston.
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