Tuesday, May 26th, 2020, marked an important milestone in my family. It was the day my cousin, Caeden, beat cancer. Yesterday, we celebrated.
You may have questions about the specifics - the type of cancer, the combinations of chemo treatments, the toll it takes on him - but we don’t talk about that stuff. It’s because, frankly, Caeden doesn’t want us to. And that’s okay.
We focus on what is really important. We talk about how he’s feeling on “good days” versus “bad days.” We talk about which shop he wants in school, how many times he has gotten Wahlburgers in the last few months that his brothers did not, and which songs he is adding to the epic summer playlist he is making (hopefully “Olivia” by One Direction is on there again this year).
Caeden is the type of kid that makes you smile, even when he gets into trouble and you might not want to smile. Up in Maine, I trained him not to slam the door, but sometimes he still slams it - then, he reopens it and whispers, “Meaghan!,” so I can watch him close it again quietly. He is charming with a good heart, and he likes to make people laugh.
He’s also a Big Idea Guy, always thinking of things to do with his cousins the next time they get together. Every time he knows we are going to my Gramma’s house, he tries his best to be there too. We are all like this, at least a little bit. It’s how we were raised - my cousins are some of my best friends.
It’s because of Maine - my grandparents have a house on a small island with internet slower than dial-up and a safe space for us kids to spend time in the summer on the lake. When we were younger, we put on talent shows and played house. Now, we play Just Dance and Apple-to-Apples, swimming is the main source of entertainment, and Caeden makes epic playlists to entertain our small parties on the dock. He has a pretty good music taste.
Since the bad news came eight months ago, we’ve tried to keep things as normal as possible, and I think we've managed that pretty well. We celebrated in small ways, as he reached milestones along the way, usually with a “Congrats” or a proud smile. They were well deserved, especially at times like when he was able to go to school for the first time since treatments started and on the day he finished radiation.
We share excitement about smaller things - like being able to celebrate Second Thanksgiving still - as well as the bigger things - like the time Devin McCourty of the New England Patriots sent him a video to say he’s rooting for him.
Yesterday, we wanted to celebrate Caeden and all of his victories.
The idea came from my Gramma earlier this week. She wanted to organize something to celebrate the end of chemo. From there, it developed into a larger conversation of how to do it safely in such a large family while keeping it a surprise. Everyone would wear masks, chairs would be spaced out, and lunch would be as simple as possible. Invites went out, and even though not everyone could make it, we hoped for the best.
Everyone showed up early to set up. My family (and my cousin, Erin) decorated the back porch of my Gramma and Grampa’s house, all of us with masks on and hand sanitizer ready. We wrapped streamers around railings, filled balloons with helium, and set up a tent for some shade on the porch. My cousin, Bryanna, hung a homemade banner on the front of the house that read, “Way to go, Caeden!,” and we all signed it. Inside, food was sorted and set aside. We set up two tables in the backyard with plenty of chairs for everyone. By 2:30pm, we were ready and waiting for his arrival.
In a spaced out crowd in the front yard, we cheered when my Auntie Sheri pulled up with the kid of the hour, and the neighbors joined in from across the street. By the look on their faces, Connor and Toren, his brothers, seemed pleased that they were in on the surprise. Smiles could be seen through everyone’s masks.
An embarrassed smile crossed Caeden’s face, as we all walked into the backyard where the festivities finally began. My cousin, Kerry, put on the perfect oldies playlist that made everyone dance at some point in the day. Everybody caught up with how-have-you-been’s, some of us for the first time since Christmas. We talked about school online, graduations, and summer plans.
The grill was fired up with the smell of burgers and hot dogs, while Scruffy, my Auntie Sheri’s dog and best buddy, sat patiently waiting for someone to drop food (he got plenty from Gramma and Grampa). Gramma sucked the helium out of a balloon to make us laugh and danced to her favorite music between lunch and cake time. We all got along like no time had passed, talking about everything and nothing while various games were played in the yard. All of us laughed, as some grandkids took turns spinning until they turned dizzy, then tried to catch tiny balls fired into the sky above them.
It only ended when the sun began to set. By the end of the day, we were all glowing with the same excitement you would see on Christmas or the 4th of July - the two days each year where we are most likely to all get together. With us all getting older, these holidays have been a saving grace when all of our schedules align, but it’s not always a guarantee (especially the 4th of July).
While the day was for Caeden, it was also for everyone else. We came together to celebrate Caeden’s win in his battle with cancer, but that was not the hot topic of the day - it was simply a reason to celebrate as a family. His strength should be recognized and applauded, but I know it is important to him, too, that normalcy is still maintained.
Yesterday felt normal, and that is what made it so great.
Although we had to be careful because of the state of the world, wearing masks and keeping our guards up, the day served as a break from the world we live in. All that mattered was that we were together and enjoying the moment, and I’m sure that made my grandparents happy. It made everyone happy.
Caeden deserved a good day after a long, difficult battle. What matters, now, is that he beat it. Just like every situation he’s ever been in, he found his way out of it with his charming personality and cheeky smile still intact.
We are all so proud of him for overcoming this monster. We are grateful that he was strong enough to push through even the toughest of times. We are happy to see his sense of humor and personality are still the same.
Yesterday was for all of us, but this post is for Caeden - to celebrate him.
Caeden, congratulations to you. You make us proud. We love you.
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