In a year that has been tough on most of us - causing stress, uncertainty, and loss in mass amounts - I would argue that compassion is of utmost importance.
I learned from a young age to treat others with kindness, especially since you never know the challenges they might be facing at any given point in time. This year has resulted in great hardships for many, many people, so I believe it is especially important to keep compassion in our daily routines.
Yesterday, my family learned that our dog, Brady, has cancer. He has been sick for a few weeks, but we never expected more than some swallowed stuffing from his favorite toy. Suddenly, our time with him is limited.
The idea of this need for compassion hit me hard yesterday. The house was quiet with grief, and there is a new swell of emotion that feels almost like guilt within me. It is the thing that makes me want to shower him with as much love as I can give in the time he has left. I know I am not alone in this feeling. We are showing it in similar gestures that we hope will count for something.
Brady snacked on peanut butter crackers for the first time today, and my dad took out some golf balls he had hidden in the basement. Unfortunately, Brady seemed too drugged to really enjoy his kiddie pool today, but what do I know? His favorite neighbor, John, came over to say hello, and Kapukie (our cat) gave him extra face kisses while he was napping. Spoiled is an understatement, but it is well deserved for such a good dog.
This year is difficult for most people, I’m finding, due to a variety of reasons. From lost loved ones to unemployment, to the missed events we all looked forward to before the pandemic hit. It seems to me that this need for compassion is stronger now than it’s been in a long time.
If we all treated others with compassion, the world would be a much better place.
Harry Styles coined the phrase “Treat People With Kindness” as the title to a song on his latest album. I’ve kept this little motto - TPWK, for short - in the back corner of my mind since I first heard the album (so, as soon as it was released). If I could have it tattooed to my brain to remember it at all times, I think I might.
In a world that feels so divided, it seems we tend to forget that we are all human beings trying to live our own lives. This allows for intense anger and frustration, particularly when we are offended by someone else’s beliefs. I am not exempt from this.
The emotions tied to so many controversial topics - even when we think they shouldn’t be so controversial - can get in the way of our ability to understand another perspective. I, personally, am working on having these conversations without allowing my emotions to escalate too much.
There comes a point in a discussion where both sides are trying to impose their view on the other person, more than they are trying to understand the other person’s perspective. It’s at this point that these conversations become pointless, since neither person is willing to learn from the other, even though they are both hoping that the other person will agree with their perspective.
Now, I’m not saying we should avoid controversial issues; engaging in dialogue about important topics are important for growth and mutual understanding. We all deserve to have our own opinions and learn from the ideas of others. However, based on my experience, keeping in mind that compassion matters can help shift your focus from making your point to educating the other person on a new perspective.
I think compassion can begin to put an end to toxic political conversations. You have the right to your own views, but as I have learned, true power comes in the form of engaging in thoughtful discussions with others. It requires us to educate ourselves on controversial topics, in order to best explain our point of view and reach an understanding with the other person, even if the only mutual ground is “agree to disagree.”
It’s easy to be fed up and at a loss for hope, especially when it seems like we all have access to tools for self-education. However, we all need to understand that, even though we are all human, we are all unique. This includes uniqueness in our ability to dedicate our time to various issues we find important, as well as what we see as our priorities.
For example, someone who values feminism might not realize the harm that white feminists causes to women of color in their social justice agenda until it is brought to their attention. Similarly, an environmentalist might not understand the harm of always shopping for new clothing until they are taught about fast fashion.
We need to maintain focus on the fact that we are all human beings with a common goal: to live a happy life that we can be proud of someday. We should treat each other like we want to be treated, just like we were taught at a young age.
This compassion should not exclusively be directed at others; we need to be compassionate with ourselves, too. It is difficult to spread kindness when your fuse is short or your energy is running low. Sometimes, it is worth it to take a break from others to recharge your own battery, so you can continue to spread compassion.
Treat people with kindness, not just because you don’t know what battles they face in their private life, but because we all deserve compassion.
Life is short, so have some compassion.
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